My friend Carolyn is brilliant. So I stole from her.
And now she's gonna know.
Because the internet really needs to know...
There are few sounds more comforting to me than a bathroom fan.
Because I have this thing. With using the bathroom. I prefer all sounds to be muffled. As in, if someone is standing within ear shot of the bathroom that I'm occupying, save for the door being closed and a general understanding of natural processes, they would have no idea what was going on in there. They wouldn't hear a thing. Not a trickle. Nada. [Immaturity probably has something to do with this, but I'll just insist it's because I'm SO lady-like. Genteel, even.]
When nature calls and I'm not in the comfort of my own home, there are a few things that never fail to bring on a healthy dose of anxiety. Like a door that doesn't lock in a home filled with children. Or a lack of a bathroom fan to muffle anything that might need to be muffled. No toilet paper or being almost out of toilet paper. No soap. Bathroom location in relation to other human beings.
When David and I were first dating, we went to visit some of his friends that were in the process of building a house while living in the house. The bathroom was upstairs in what was technically a loft because there were only studs. So, when I had to pee, I realized that, despite the sheets hanging around the toilet for "privacy", I would basically be peeing in a large room with two strangers and my new boyfriend. Anxiety. So naturally, I asked them all to go outside. I asked these people, whom I had never met before, to get out of their own house so they wouldn't hear me pee.
Carolyn's bathroom is also upstairs. But there are walls. And ways to muffle any sound. And occasionally, when I'm at her house, I use her bathroom. And in that bathroom, for all to see, sits a bowl filled with quartered wash rags.
My guess is that she uses them to remove her make up. Which is brilliant. Because I spend at least 2-3 minutes every single day having an internal conversation about how much HATE the cotton rounds that I use to remove my eye makeup.
So I bought some soft, fluffy, white rags and I quartered them and threw them in a jar. And those internal conversations now have shifted to much more productive things.
Like Netflix. And how much I'll love my life on May 26th: Arrested Development.